Author: rhodora

NOTHING COULD BE MORE DEVASTATING TO A MARRIAGE than infidelity by any of the spouses. Financial problems, career conflicts, disagreements in methods of disciplining the children and many more family issues can contribute to cracks in the relationship but they are not enough reasons to cause the marriage to split up. For all that a marriage is worth, only a third party can completely break a marriage and wreck a home and family that both spouses have painstakingly put together through the years.

And how does infidelity rear its ugly head within the marriage? Why would a spouse violate the sanctity of marriage because of another woman or man? Could it be lust? Could it be a need that the other partner failed to meet? Whatever the reason is – there is no justification for infidelity.  Yes, it may be common for an unfaithful husband to point an accusing finger to the wife, and say, “It’s your entire fault. You pushed me to go into a relationship with another woman. You were never sensitive of my needs. You never have time for me. You demand a lot and I can’t afford to give you everything.”

Yet all these are rationalizations that fall short of principles. The erring husband is only trying to justify (rather unsuccessfully) his immoral act by stressing on the mistakes of the wife. But despite all these, the wife must remain steadfast and should bear in mind: Inasmuch as the husband is the one who is at fault, the problem is not with her, but with him. Therefore if there is no other recourse but to separate – the aggrieved wife must stand up, dust herself off – hold her head high and say – “I’m better off without you. Good riddance. I may cry today but tomorrow is another day.”

Words of wisdom from a friend: All of us have our own disappointments in life. One day we just might wake up and start thinking we married the wrong person. We may even fall out of love with our spouses. Then we meet someone who we believe is the answer to the secret longing of our hearts. And we are convinced we are in love – and that we have not felt this kind of love before, even with our spouses. But we look around and find the family we have built together. Must we abandon them in exchange for this selfish feeling?

“There is nothing new in life. All of us have hang-ups, frustrations and longings. But at the end of the day – we just have to do our roles right. What is the use of satisfying our lust and infatuations, if guilt will hound us to our grave?”

WHEN Baguio City commemorated its centennial anniversary as a chartered city last week, there was a marked lack of gaiety among the residents.  This is quite ironic because anniversaries are supposed to be joyful celebrations since they signify longevity and endurance which are enough reasons to celebrate.

There was a parade, a centennial run, an elegant dinner for the city’s members of the upper class and a fireworks display to highlight the occasion. But in the midst of it all, there was a sweeping gloom and an absence of mirth and fun.

I lived in Baguio City for more than seven years during the Marcos era at which time I studied and worked.  I felt lucky because I was able to experience a tranquil way of life in cool surroundings. I so loved the distinct pine scent that diffused in the air, exhilarating my lungs with clean uncontaminated oxygen each time I would go on long walks along South Drive, a road beside Camp John Hay where tall pine trees used to be plentiful.  Traffic was not a problem then even along Session Road, the city’s main thoroughfare. As far as I can remember, bumper to bumper traffic situation only occurred on Holy Weeks when visitors would come in multitudes to take a break from the sweltering heat in the lowlands.  Baguio then was like Shangrila – a dream place where everyone wanted to be.

But much like any other urban place in the Philippines, Baguio did not succeed in combating the disparaging effects of urbanization. Through the 100 years of its existence since its foundation as a chartered city, population growth was uncontrolled. Lack of effective planning and implementation of zoning laws, not to mention corruption and too much commerce had caused the city to be in a frenzied state that it is in now.  While it is believed age should come with grace, dignity and undying charm – Baguio in its 100 years of urban status, has aged disgracefully and with much want of dignity.  It is of no wonder then why Baguio people can’t truly feel proud and jubilant as Baguio City turns 100 years old.

What should be done or “undone” to restore the beauty of the summer capital?  What will be entailed to scrape the ugly dots on the city’s face? By ugly dots I mean the structures that sprouted on hillsides and on every inhabitable nook within and outside the city proper.  It’s a problem that previous city officials saw happening before their very eyes; yet they did nothing to nip it before it grew monstrously. Ah, hopefully, as Baguio starts to count years on its 2^nd centenary, solutions will be found as to how it can repair itself.

I REALLY DON’T KNOW how to begin. It’s been like ages since I last posted an entry in my blog.

So many things have happened for the past weeks and months and I am caught in the dizzying pace of everyday living that every time I attempt to blog, I usually end up staring blankly at my laptop screen.

There are ups and there are downs. There are decisive and indecisive moments. There are choices to make, promises to keep and responsibilities to complete.  Not only a few times have I considered backing out from several challenges and sometimes I feel like God must be mad at me when trials come one after another.

But I persist and keep intoning the positivist mantra: “Things will get better.”And certainly – things are starting to look up.

So life goes on and I’m thankful for the gift that is. Hopefully I will soon be able to surface for a breath of fresh air and resume regular blogging.

HOW could I have missed greeting you my dear blog friends and readers on two most important occasions: Christmas and New Year? My bad. But the past holidays caught me with all the dizzying activities, family gatherings and of course the presence of all my three kids. Anyhow, it’s better late than never; therefore allow me to extend my best wishes to everyone for the new year – the Year of the Ox.

May year 2009 bring us all excellent health, success and happiness! I don’t want to say that 2008 was bad so I can wish that 2009 will be a good one. For me, each year is good and every new  year will be better.  Now, isn’t this outlook ideal for positive invite? Cheers!

Wishing
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 

Do you wish the World were better?
Let me tell you what to do:

 

Set a watch upon your actions,
Keep them always straight and true.
Rid your mind of selfish motives,
Let your thoughts be clean and high.
You can make a little Eden
Of the sphere you occupy.

 

Do you wish the World were wiser?
Then suppose you make a start,

 

By accumulating wisdom
In the scrap book of your heart
. Do not waste one page on folly;
Live to learn and learn to live.
If you want to give men knowledge
You must get it ere you give.

 

Do you wish the World were happy?
Then remember day by day,

 

Just to scatter seeds of kindness,
As you pass along the way.
For the pleasures of the many,
May be oft times traced to one.
As the hand that plants an acorn,
Shelters armies from the sun

I WAS chatting with my daughter on YM a while back and she made me listen to this beautiful song by Nicole Nordeman.

Gratitude
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
‘Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You’ll provide in other ways
And if that’s the case . . .

(Chorus)
We’ll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger’s view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You’ll provide in other ways
And if that’s the case . . .

(Chorus)
We’ll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread
Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that’s the case . . .

(Chorus)
We’ll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . . .