The truly married woman

  

Each morning for 12 years, Ayo never failed to have Ayayi’s cup of tea ready beside at his bedside. She would get up early, careful not to wake the man soundly sleeping beside her.

Upon rising, Ayayi was sure to find beside him his hot tea “just as he liked it – weak and sugary, without milk”. 

Then as he stepped out of the room, Ayayi would find his breakfast laid on the table while Ayo would be sweeping dried leaves in the yard. 

No, Ayo was not his wife. She was his mistress. They had lived like husband and wife without the blessing of marriage and they got along very well. Ayo was a fine woman. She was loyal. She kept her lover’s house efficiently. She bore him children. And to say that Ajayi was proud of her was an understatement, so to speak.

Twelve long years, and Ayo showed no sign of complaint.

Everyday, Ajayi witnessed how his mistress tirelessly performed her duties around the house – tidying up a table, straightening the pillows, keeping the hearth warm and still managing to look her best to greet Ajayi on the door after he spent the day out at work.

Then one day, while in contemplative mood as he sipped his morning tea – Ajayi thought… why not he married Ayo? After these years, Ajayi mused – Ayo truly deserved his name. After all, they were no less than husband and wife. Only a piece of signed document to make their union legal, made the difference. And so he decided: he would marry her, finally. He was convinced the sanction of marriage would even strengthen their relationship more.

So in a simple ceremony in the context of African tradition and some Western touch of wedding cake and speeches, Ajayi and Ayo’s union was given legal reinforcement. Ajayi thought – the marriage was a befitting reward for the faithful mistress. Ayo was indeed an excellent woman of the house, but certainly, Ajayi believed, the marriage would even further bring out the good, if not the best qualities in her.

But it wasn’t to be so.

“The next morning as his alarm clock went off, he stirred and reached for his morning cup of tea. It was not there. He sprang up and looked. Nothing. He listened for Ayo’s footsteps outside in the kitchen. Nothing. He turned to look beside him. Ayo was there and her ‘bare ebony back was heaving gently. She must be ill, he thought; all that excitement yesterday.

“Ayo, Ayo,” he cried, “are you ill?” Ajayi asked, worried.

She turned around slowly still lying down and faced him. She tweaked her toes luxuriously under the cotton coverlet and patted her breast slowly. There was a terrible calm about her.

“No, Ajayi,” she replied, “are you?” she asked him.

“No,” he said. He was puzzled and alarmed, thinking that her mind had become unhinged under the strain.

“Ajayi, my husband,” she said. “for twelve years I have got up every morning at five to make tea for you and breakfast. Now I am a truly married woman, you must treat me with a little more respect. You are now a husband and not a lover. Get up and make yourself a cup of tea.”

(The Truly Married Woman by Abioseh Nicol)

Bowl of Happiness

bowls of happiness
“Happiness is a bowl of warm soup.”

WHEN someone in the family has a cold and no appetite for food, I usually prepare some hot soup and serve it to them in one of these happy faced bowls for I believe that these bowls can somehow condition their minds to make them feel better and lighter.

Incidentally one of my sons is not feeling well right now – not from any physical illness, but from a bruised soul. I knew it was an Icarian move he was taking, but he refused to be stopped. And how could I prevent him from following what he perceived was the right decision for his future? He is of age, way past his teens, and as the law says – emancipated.

Anyhow, as I was cleaning the cupboard the other day, and as I took out these happy bowls to get washed, I thought of the times when I would heat up a bowl of soup and give it to him whenever he had a cold. Almost instantly, he would be relieved with the steam from the hot soup which apparently helped unclog his stuffy nose.

How quick and simple it was to cure an ailing child. Sadly however, life’s twists and turns get more complicated in time and for my son, I know it will take more than a bowl of soup to heal his wounded wing.

* * * *

Flashback

When my two boys were little, they – particularly Marco – could be very picky with their food. And as a mother wanting to give her children proper nourishment during their formative years, I would employ different tactics in order to make them eat right.

One of the tactics which was quite successful was telling them kiddie stories that I invented as they ate. However, since it was really difficult to make them sit down before the dining table and eat by themselves, I would spoon feed Aypee while the househelp would attend to Marco.

Me: (In a highly animated voice) And the lion roared so loud it frightened the other animals in the jungle. The mighty lion screamed at them: “Everyone should eat, do you hear?” And all the other animals were so afraid of the King Lion.

Marco: Then what happened, Mama?

Aypee: What’s their lunch?

Me: Oh, they had lunch just like this one you are having right now. Vegetables, fish, rice.

Aypee: (Now holding his toy airplane) They drank milk too?

Me: Oh, yes! They drank milk and nobody in the jungle was allowed to sleep until they have drunk their milk!

Marco: (Now assembling Lego blocks) They also take Nutroplex? (Nutroplex is a daily multi-vitamins for kids)

Me: Yes, of course. Okay, now, open your mouths and eat some more, so the King Lion won’t roar.

Sometimes, I would pretend that we were in the jungle:

Me: Come on, come on – eat this now. Look – the King Lion is watching. Open and show King Lion your big mouths.. That’s it.. aahh… amm! Very good!

And so it went on and on until the last morsel was gone from their plates. Whew!

I chuckle as I remember those yesteryears’ scenarios when we would follow them around at feeding time from the dining to the living room and even to the bedroom. Yet I held on to dear Patience because the whole feeding process sometimes took two hours!

Some years later when my daughter arrived to the scene, I did not have to use the same strategy anymore to make her finish her food. Gem as a toddler was a more disciplined eater. I could make her have her meals on the dining table. No qualms. She would use the spoon and fork on her own, and refused to be spoon fed. All I had to do was prepare her food on a plate or a bowl, position her in her high chair and she would then voluntarily feed herself.

Oh, memories just keep flooding my mind these days…

Drink to me only with thine eyes

Tea for two

Note: The following is one of my favorite English poems. It actually became popular as a song in the 1770s.

Want to hear its tune? Click here:

Drink to me only with thine eyes

Song to Celia by Ben Jonson

Drink to me only with thine eyes
And I will pledge with mine.
Or leave a kiss within the cup
And I’ll not ask for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I of Jove’s nectar sip,
I would not change for thine.

I sent thee late a rosy wreath,
Not so much hon’ring thee
As giving it a hope that there
It could not withered be;
But thou thereon did’st only breathe,
And sent’st it back to me,
Since when it grows and smells, I swear
Not of itself, but thee.

God is our protector

God is faithful

 

For many years now, I have kept this prayer in my wallet. It is handwritten on a piece of paper, copied from the Bible. I have also  stashed a copy of the same prayer in my husband and children’s wallets, but I guess I have to check if they still have it with them now.

If you notice in the Holy Bible, the Psalms are prayers in verse form, most of which are really meant to be sung. Each Psalm, I believe, is intended for particular petitions or intentions. Psalm 23, for instance, is for provision – a prayer for people who are suffering from material hardships in life.

Psalm 91 on the other hand, if for protection.

Incidentally, this is my 200th post. And my way of celebrating this occasion is by sharing this prayer to all of you.

Psalm 91 – GOD IS OUR PROTECTOR

Whoever goes to the Lord for safety, whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty, can say to him,

“You are my defender and protector;

You are my God, in you I trust.”

He will keep you safe from all hidden dangers and from all deadly diseases.

He will cover you with his wings;

You will be safe in his care;

His faithfulness will protect and defend you.

You need not fear any dangers at night or sudden attacks during the day or the plagues that strike in the dark or the evils that kill in daylight.

A thousand may fall dead beside you, ten thousand all around you, but you will not be harmed.

You will look and see how the wicked are punished.

You have made the Lord your defender, the Most High your protector, and so no disaster will strike you, no violence will come near your home.

God will put his angels in charge of you to protect you wherever you go.

They will hold you up with their hands to keep you from hurting your feet on the stones.

You will trample down lions and snakes, fierce lions and poisonous snakes.

God says, “I will save those who love me and will protect those who acknowledge me as Lord.

When they call to me, I will answer them;

When they are in trouble, I will be with them.

I will rescue them and honor them.

I will reward them with long life;

I will save them.”

Let peace reign

white orchids

(My offering for peace and love: White orchids from my sister Eva’s garden)

Please pray with me:

Loving Father, we pray for the families of the victims of the Glorietta bombing at this sad and difficult time.

We pray that You will bring comfort to them, and give them the peace which encompasses all understanding.

We pray that in all of their grief and sadness, they will not feel alone, but will always be conscious of the reality of Your presence with them.

And lastly, Lord, we pray for love in every hardened heart; peace in every troubled soul and enlightenment in every confused mind.

Amen.

This post is in response to the call for prayer and sobriety by Ding of Inkblots – Life Unraveled and Señor Enrique of Wish You Were Here.